Imposter Syndrome is the belief and fear that someone is going to discover that you’ve been faking it. You think that wherever you are and no matter what level of success you’ve achieved, you’re not as good as everyone else. You’re only there because you’ve been faking it, and you’ve convinced other people that you’re good at it.
Anyone can have this syndrome, but the more marginalized group you’re in, the more likely you are to experience it. For example, women in the math or tech industry may experience the imposter syndrome more often than others. However you can have all of the advantages but still experience it, perhaps because the pressure is so strong in the field that you work in.
The imposter syndrome can feel very real. You can feel like at any moment your life will come crashing down. Once you internalize the thought or belief that you don’t belong somewhere, it could become a self-fulfilling prophecy. The really hard part is that it is an unfalsifiable belief. Others can’t convince you of your worth, because you will just think that they haven’t found you out yet, or that someone else will.
Imposter Syndrome isn’t something you can just fix and it will go away. It varies day by day, moment by moment. You need to learn how to recognize it and live with it. (*please note that I am not a psychologist or any type of expert on this)
How do you know if you or someone you know has Imposter Syndrome?
If you don’t recognize that you have Imposter Syndrome you might not do something out of fear, and miss out on something really good. Don’t let it get in the way of your ultimate success. If you have this syndrome you may use self-deprecating humor. Don’t get me wrong, humor is a good thing, but if someone does it a lot it could be a sign of Imposter Syndrome. Someone with Imposter Syndrome might also set themselves apart and/or not ask for help.
The following are some ways to help you get past this fear:
- Recognize that you have Imposter Syndrome, this is the first step to getting rid of the incorrect mental image
- Name it: “I am experiencing some Imposter Syndrome right now”
- Focus on what you can contribute.
- Realize your own worth: do something because it interests you, not to try to prove something; take pleasure in learning things because you like it
- Whenever you complete something, recognize that what you did has value
- Derive your self worth from things other than your accomplishments.
- Realize that you have value just as you are (“I’m enough”)
- Learn to acknowledge/admit being wrong, making mistakes, or not knowing things
- Try to get feedback on your work early.
- Since it is an early draft you don’t have to feel bad about any constructive criticism that you get.
- Work really hard at something difficult, and make progress on it
- You expect it to be hard, so it is okay if you have questions, the important thing is that you are making progress
- Affirmations about identity/ mental programming for motivation.
- For example: “I am the kind of person that doesn’t give up.”
- This is self motivating because you will want to live up to those beliefs and expectations
- Realize the most ridiculous things of Imposter Syndrome, and tell them as a joke to others
- If you isolate yourself you won’t necessarily know where you stand, try to be part of the group.
- With a group you will get more confirmations
- Use cognitive behavioral therapy
- Talk back to a thought or feeling (Just because you feel a way, doesn’t mean you have to act on it. Notice your thoughts and form different thoughts)
- Go out and try to prove yourself wrong
- Ask yourself: What would be worth doing, even if I did fail? (Makes it about working hard, instead of succeeding)
- See whatever you do as an experiment.
- Whatever happens you will gain some knowledge, it’s no longer about success or failure
How to help someone who has Imposter Syndrome:
- Initiate conversation/actively try to include them in the group
- Ask them if they need help (they might be too scared to come to you)
- Ask them to help you with something, and give them credit afterwards
- When acknowledging something they have done instead of using broad statements (“your’e smart”), be specific (“you were able to isolate that bug, not everyone would have been able to do that”) it makes it more believable and helps reinforce their worth
You can listen to the devchat here: http://devchat.tv/ruby-rogues/107-rr-impostor-syndrome-with-tim-chevalier
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